Grumpy Old Fan

Rugby is the game that I have enjoyed watching and playing the most over the years but I find myself falling out of love with it. A big part of this is not being able to watch Pontypool playing in the flesh which has been my staple Saturday afternoon diet for eight months or so every year. Of course, I can still get a fix from the countless matches that are available (if you are prepared to fork out) on the TV. It is not the same though is it? It’s like drinking a rather weak shandy when you want a good, strong pint of real ale. You want to feel a bond with your team rather than just just picking an underdog to support.

For all that, I did watch a couple of games that grabbed my attention on Saturday with both providing some exhilarating rugby and demonstrating that rugby can still provide great entertainment. Bristol Bears v Clement Auvergne was a try scoring master class while Bath v The Scarlets match was nail-biting but with some excellent running rugby to boot.

Whilst I thoroughly enjoyed these games, some of the other rugby was of the turgid type of European rugby that we have come to expect. It got me to thinking about what was bugging me about rugby at the moment. When you are watching dispassionately, these things really bubble to the surface and make you start channel hopping.

My top ten irritants are:

1. Collapsing and resetting scrums. It seems that no matter how much they tinker with the setting of scrums the game is plagued with this. Even as a veteran Pontypool fan it is frustrating and takes up far too much game time.
2. The wild celebrations that follow a penalty being awarded at a scrum when most people are bemused by the decision including the front rows themselves.
3. The breakdown and the jackal - who is doing what and what is illegal. It is far too complicated and with the benefit of the inevitable zoom lens and slow motion replays you can see just how difficult it is for the referees to make a decision. I don’t think the latest law changes have helped and it looks like an area where players are bound to get injured. The spectator on the terrace has no chance of knowing what is going and howls “holding” more in hope than anything else. Was rucking any better though?
4. Incessant box kicking and the emergence of the “caterpillar”. At least before the caterpillar there was the occasional kick charged down but now the box kick seems to be the most used tool in every team’s toolbox. The attempts to catch the kick often lead to contentious penalties and cards for tackling in the air and yet more delays.
5. Box kicking has led to more and more of the use of subtle yet cynical obstruction to prevent the potential catcher of the ball being challenged. England are the masters of this.
6. Miniscule in-goal areas. A pet hate of mine is the wide deviation in the size of in-goal areas and their impact on the game. Surely, they should be standard. I understand that the increasing use of football grounds has meant smaller playing areas but, in some cases, it seems barely four metres from try line to dead-ball line in others it can be ten metres or more.
7. Linked to 6 is the substitutes running on the pitch to celebrate a try. They are using the in-goal area to warm up when really they have no business being on the pitch at all.
8. The ruffling of the opposition player’s hair when a team gives away a penalty or knock-on. This coupled with the incessant pointing and carping at the referee is not really in the spirit of the game. Fortunately there is not yet as much “diving” as there is in football and long may that continue.
9. The refereeing of the game and the TMO. The game at the professional level is becoming more and more reliant on the TMO as it seems impossible for the on-field refereeing team to spot even 90% of the indiscretions. Referees are also so worried about making the wrong decision and feels the need to call for help knowing that the TV replays will hang them if they are shown to be wrong after forensic examination by the pundits. The TMO decisions often take far too long and, yes, result in more delays. I certainly don’t envy the task of the referee but they have far too much influence on the entertainment value of a game. It is no longer possible to not notice the referee.
10. There is a lack of joy and fun in the game. Players do not seem to be enjoying playing. Yes, it is a job but surely there is room for a bit of light-heartedness now and then. The coaches are turning players into robots who are slaves to “the pattern”. We will miss the refereeing of Nigel Owens who was the master of the one-liner that brought a smile to the face of many a grizzly rugby player.  

For all that, I will still be watching rugby and I can’t wait to get back to watching club rugby with Pontypool. Fortunately, a lot of my grouses above are not quite as apparent in the community game. We should, however, spare a thought for the referees who really are heroes at this level and, although we all moan and groan, there would be no rugby without them.

Come on everybody let’s be sensible and try and kick Covid 19 into touch. Let’s get back to watching the game we love in the place that we love.